And the Deadpan drought continues. . . .
Apologies, friends and foes, but due to technical difficulties, the release of Deadpan 91 (and therefore, Unshow X as well) has been delayed. As some of you know, my PC power supply blew up, and I’m scrambling to get my shit together. Yes, I live with an ex-podcaster, but her recording equipment is no longer even set up.
Deadpan 91 will come out. . . . the drought will end. . . . but not tonight. Sorry.
I hope you’ll continue to bear with me. Deadpan is the motherfucking. . . . . yeah. . . .








Hello, Pan!
It’s time for Spring Break Camp again. Some of my college friends and I are attending camp up in Santa Cruz, CA this week. I will come back from that on Thursday night, then turn right around and leave for another conference in Salt Lake City the following day. I won’t be back to checking the boards every day until next Sunday, March 30, but time permitting, I may check in on Thursday night or Friday morning.
For those of you celebrating, Happy Easter! :-)
Thanks Amy!
I hope you have a great time at camp.
Watch it though, those Snipe can be very dangerous when cornered.
;)
I’m back. I hope everyone had a good weekend.
l8r
Joe, you’re killin’ me here.
Well I’ve listened to all the BSFA short listed stories being narrated at:
http://www.starshipsofa.com/
and for me the Ken MaCleod story was the weakest.
Ah well I’ll never make a critic.
+ ,
any word on the return of the deadpan?
It’s in the fridge.
THERE IS NO DEADPAN ONLY ZHOUL
You going to play the Marshmellow Man Dub?
Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
To be exact.
Survived Easter. Now the Misses is out in Alabama until Friday for work. Yep, it’s like Daddy Daycare at my house now.
I was just thinking. The Republicans are looking to restore a “Reagan-esque” White House. But which Reagan? The President or the chick from The Excorcist?
Rhet – just remember, Duct tape is your friend. ;)
So is your wife on tour with her “guitar hero” band?
Yes, duct tape. I need to stock up. LOL
Well she was going to tour, but got a “cease and desist” from Gibson.
It probably won’t be a “Ronald Reagan Jr. esque” white house. LOL
Wish the conservatives would shoot for “Goldwateresque” over “Reaganesque.”
Each of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back. What could go wrong?
Switch me on! :)
Just don’t cross the streams!
It’s not gay if they don’t touch. ;)
define “bad”
“Go get her Ray”
Sweet!! I am so looking forward to Southland Tales. The way you described it Dub, is what I was hoping it would be!!
(one more)
“If someone ask’s if you are a god, YOU SAY YES!”
“It’s true. He’s dickless.”
“He slimed me.”
“This man has no dick.”
d’oh!
I think he says both lines, ditto.
So I guess we’ll just play GJB for the “Technical Difficulties” post for this week, eh?
http://riotclitshave.com/2008.03/2351248547_ebecf6cf14byFlickruserTikistitch.jpg
When TD-0013 goes bad. . . (worksafe)
lol
“Someone with your qualifications would have no trouble finding a top-flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries.”
Thats a big twinkie.
Who ya gonna call?
Deadpan Busters!
Are you, Alice, menstrating right now?
www. riot clit shave dot com ? WTF?
“I feel … funky.”
I just realized that line would have worked beautifully in Resident Evil.
So I have a girlfriend who sleeps above the covers…4 feet above the covers!
“We’d like to get a sample of your brain tissue.”
“Okay”
So somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it?
“Generally, you don’t see that kind of behavior in a major appliance.”
Are you the keymaster?
“A woman with your talents should have no problem finding employment in the housekeeping or food service industries.”
“Back off, man! I’m a scientist.”
“Actually, I’m scared beyond the point of rational thought.”
Dang, it appears ditto beat me to one of the quotes. Oh well.
Take off eh, you hoser.
Oops, wrong Rick Moranis movie.
“Hey! Mr. Staypuff is a sailor, if we get him laid, we won’t have any trouble.”
“Bob McKenzie: Fleshy-headed mutant. Are you friendly?
Doug McKenzie: No way, eh? Ra-… radiation has made… me an enemy of civilization. ”
D’oh!
“Cats and dogs living together! Mass Hysteria!”
I obviously don’t remember Ghostbusters that well.
http://c64s.com/game/1362/ghostbusters/
Ok… so… she’s a dog.
I’ve seen every form of combustion known to man.
“You’re right, no… human… could stack books like this.”
No one steps on a church in MY town!
… and perhaps, if it’s not too presumptuous of me to lower the curtain on our little “Day of the Ghostbuster”, this would be the perfect line -
“We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!”
goodnight deadpan
(who ELSE ya gonna call?)
[not being bitter -- seriously] OK, the GJB game is becoming like solitaire for Vanamonde. Anyone else want to challenge his guess? [/not being bitter -- seriously]
Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms.
I guess I’ll end the night with this.
“I’m gonna take Ms. Barret back to her apartment and check her out.”
Before Monty Python there was The Frost Report:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgA4K-bnwh0
I know my place.
Sorry, Jack. I meant to submit a prediction. I was feeling ill yesterday and went to bed early.
This is hilarious. An artist has had a little fun with the Portal game.
Entry portal: http://wvs.topleftpixel.com/08/03/24/
Exit portal: http://wvs.topleftpixel.com/08/03/25/
Note that art matches what’s across the street.
Ah the Portal cube. I want a Portal cake for my birthday. LOL
I’m sorry too about the GJB prediction. My wife is out of town on business and I’m tending to all the little ones appointments etc. Plus, my dog Patsy has decided that the night life is for her and has started barking around 2AM for no discernable reason. I don’t quite feel like having a serving of brains, but I’m getting there.
I just need to set an alarm. Or, go back to my original plan and just start submitting predictions on Fridays.
I need to set Outlook to give me a reminder on Monday afternoon. LOL
teh 3vi1 of Outlook.
Still, reminders are nice. :)
Done. The evil Outlook features a reminder daemon.
Dudes and dudettes: no apologies necessary. ever.
I was just calling for someone to challenge Van’s iron grip on the GJB crown.
Van has a grip on the Crown? What will the Queen say? Is the MI6 going to be knocking on his door?
I misread that as “Van has a grip on the Clown”.
Van has a grip, thats for sure.
(channeling Dennis Hopper) a candy colored clown, neighbor ! (/Channeling Dennis Hopper)
http://www.clown-ministry.com/images/bozo-the-clown-bop-bag.jpg
Solitaire
There was a man, a lonely man
Who lost his love through his indifference
A heart that cared, that went unshared
Until it died in his silence
And Solitaire’s the only game in town
And every road that takes him, takes him down
And by himself, it’s easy to pretend
He’ll never love again
And keeping to himself he plays the game
Without her love it always ends the same
While life goes on around him everywhere
He’s playing Solitaire
Another day, a lonely day
So much to say that goes unspoken
And through the night, his sleepless nights
His eyes are closed, his heart is broken
And Solitaire’s the only game in town
And every road that takes him, takes him down
And by himself it’s easy to pretend
She’s coming back again
And keeping to himself he plays the game
Without her love it always ends the same
While life goes on around him everywhere
He’s playing Solitaire
A little hope, goes up in smoke
Just how it goes, goes without saying
Solitaireee
And by himself it’s easy to pretend
He’ll never love again
Ohhh
And keeping to himself he plays the game
Without her love it always ends the same
While life goes on around him everywhere
He’s playing Solitaire
Solitaire, solitaire
I feel cheated, the one I had as a kid didn’t come with the Iron Cross:
http://www.actionmanhq.co.uk/soldiers/stormtrooper.JPG
On the floor of Tokyo
Or down in London town to go, go
With the record selection
With the mirror reflection
Van’s dancing with himself
When theres no-one else in sight
In the crowded lonely night
Well ya wait so long
For ya love vibration
And Van’s dancing with himself
I saw the following today:
http://www.theorphanagemovie.com/
If you like ghost stories don’t let the fact it’s subtitled put you off..very spooky.
^Looks interesting. And cool action figure BTW.
And no apologies necessary ever? So I don’t have to apologize for the photo of my cock resting on the 8-ball that Ed sent me as a Secret Santa gift?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rhettro/2361374713/
Nope. No global warming here.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/science/03/25/antartica.collapse.ap/index.html
Cocks and billiard balls – sounds like you’re ready for a career in politics, Rhett.
I sincerely hope there’s a rooster in that picture.
In politics, you use your cock to put a spin on the 8-ball. Huh?
All that ice in the ocean should lower it’s temperature, thus negating the effects of global warming.
lol. Yeah. That will work.
Live in a rough area? don’t know what to get your partner for birthday/xmas? then consider:
http://tinyurl.com/2qyz4s
Just a pity it looks like something from UFO:
http://www.andersongraphics.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/skydiver_string_vests.jpg
Useful until they shoot you in the head. ;)
For that situation you need one of these:
http://tinyurl.com/7rcng
Another podcast rides off into the sunset:
http://www.moldawer.com/2008/03/24/till-we-meet-again/
I was a sporatic listener to Moldawer, I suppose he is still with the Mystic Ninjas.
But where are the Ninjas?
(while the fly tried to break our balls….)
Go with Pod, Dave Moldawer. MITM was definitely an example of good podcasting.
another data point for my thesis
thesis?
Time for a cup of tea.
I also have to tweet this story:
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/OnCall/story?id=4518743&page=1
Elderly Florida woman diagnosed with leiomyosarcoma (the cancer that claimed Joe Murphy), now on the road to full recovery after a radical new surgery procedure.
JJ – You working on a PhD in podcasting?
Can I just say here, Ed for one moment, that I have a new theory about podcasting?
Yes, my word, you may well ask what it is, this theory of mine. Well, this theory, that I have, that is to say, which is mine,… is mine.
(clears throat) This theory, which belongs to me, is as follows… (more throat clearing) This is how it goes… (clears throat) The next thing that I am about to say is my theory. (clears throat) Ready?
… All podcasts are thin at one end; much, much thicker in the middle and then thin again at the far end. That is the theory that I have and which is mine and what it is, too.
Jack,
That’s an amazing procedure. But based on how wide spread it was in our friend Joe, I doubt it would have saved him. Perhaps if they could have caught it earlier. In any event, I’m happy to know that leiomyosarcoma isn’t necessarily terminal in all cases.
justa joe – So they’re sort of like Ohio, hi in the middle and round at both ends.
So the sombre theory of podcasting..nice.
What we need is carbon copies of podcasters that never sleep and every two years are replaced by identical copies..oh and be called Buster.
..and your next electronic sheep reference will be along shortly.
I could use one of those, but I don’t want it to be like Multiplicity.
Well, after having finished Ruster’s Rhapsody again, on my Ipod no less, I definitely give it a recommendation.
Eraserhead is still showing a long wait in the queue. Hopefully, we won’t be doing that Apalooza show anytime real soon.
Have we settled on that for the next movie?
Interesting song from the “Modern Day Master of Melancholy” otherwise known as Morrissey: “That’s how people grow up”
http://www.spinner.com/2008/03/18/morrissey-thats-how-people-grow-up-video-of-the-day/
I agree with the Wired guy, these are incredible fan animations, especially considering they are the work of one guy.
Dead or Alive vs Final Fantasy
http://blog.wired.com/games/2008/03/dead-or-alive-v.html
… the latest “Front Line” (show on PBS) is called “Bush’s War” – it was on last night but I think will re-show tonight or tomorrow night. It is a fascinating inside look at the battles within the White House over control of our country as well as Iraq.
It’s heartbreaking how close we came to NOT invading Iraq and instead, launching a world wide, multi-national effort to go after Al Quiada.
Stupid evil Cheney. Stupid Evil Rumsfield. Stupid Evil Wolfawitz.
I recall watching a show about 6 or 7 years ago about the Bush Administration’s obsession with starting a war with Iraq. It may have been “Front Line”. It was a sobering and prophetic program. :(
The sad thing is, at this point it doesn’t matter what we do. If we stay the cost of war will force the country deeper into a recession, probably even depression. If we leave Iran will swoop in and the oil pipeline will be compromised, cost of fuel will skyrocket and break the backbone of our economy and we’ll be in the same place.
You know we had the A-Bomb and WWII ended pretty decisively from that. We’ve gotten too soft.
“We’ve gotten too soft.”
I don’t really think that’s the problem. It’s more like a combination of “the plebes don’t need the truth” plus “simple solutions to complex problems”. Neither are wise courses of action. In combination, they are extremely destructive.
Well, the first problem was we invaded when we didn’t have too. The second is we don’t have an exit strategy. If we had a plan to develope domestic oil production from the shale oil deposits from Colorado to replace any lost of production from Iraq when it leaves the oil market, that would be one thing. But the way it is working out now, we are there until no other forces want to vye for power once we exit. =P
Deadpan is the way
Ditto – this is the “follow-on” to that show. It shows a little of the “lead in” to the invasion and then all of the ways we blundered and screwed up since then.
Actually – it shows that the screw-ups were the direct decisions of 3 or 4 men who at various times, seized power – actually flat out ignored Bush directives or State department plans and simply decided THEY were going to make the decisions. Things like disbanding the Iraqi army, which sent nearly 300,000 unemployed and heavily armed men into the streets.
Paul Brimer issued that order from his office in Iraq, much to the horror of Colin Powell and most everyone else in the State Department. Brimer stopped following ANY directives from Washington and they had to physically send someone to Iraq to jerk him out of there!
Cheney, Wolfawitz, Rumsfield – they were all simply ignoring any plans that were made in strategy meetings with anyone who had a clue about the middle east and Iraq in general. As most of us had guessed, Bush was mostly a meat puppet and kept in the dark and out of the loop. Not to be exonorated though becuase he appointed these people. He appointed Paul Brimer specifically becuase he DIDN’T have any experience with the middle east and thus “wouldn’t be tainted with the old “bad” ideas.
If you haven’t caught this show you should see it before it gets banned.
re: exit strategy -
turns out it is worse then no exit strategy.
We had NO actual strategy to defeat the insurgence. Before the “surge” the official policy ordered from the White House was to fall back to hardened bases and only go out on mounted “patrols”.
The insurgence quickly figured out that we weren’t actually coming after them any more AND that we had stopped actively protecting the civilians (we would only swoop in AFTER they attacked) and that was when they started slaughtering anyone who was helping the US or trying to support anything or anyone backed by the US.
Thanks, Joe. I’ll see if I can find it. The wife might have already dvr’d it.
OK TOOOOO heavy.
I offer this interlude from a kinder simpler time -
“The Great Flydini !”
http://tinyurl.com/38shl8
runch time
Have you listened to “Coverville Episode #425″ – (The Peter Gabrielle cover story) yet ?
No? WHy not? Quit being so mean to yourself.
Yes, you are correct – There IS nothing wrong with Peter Gabrielle’s original rendition of these tunes. These cover are brilliant though.
Come on, treat yourself. You deserve it.
Do it. Now.
http://tinyurl.com/2qt8dh
I’m not sure if I mentioned it but Peter Gabriel is one of my favorite non-metal artist. I’ll give it a listen over the lunch hour. :)
A Ha! I knew there had to be a logical explaination for this man-crush I have on you. ;)
Looks like I can watch Frontline online
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/bushswar/
Ah joe, I have a man-crush for you too, (especially after your cover of “It’s not easy being green.” *swoon* And speaking of man-crushes, how does one man give another man a “spocker?” It’s not something I’ve contemplated long, only since the last Wingin It 3d ep with the banter between Crazy Joe and Brian. Which co-incedently was the same moment I learned what a “spocker” was. LOL
Very wise advice if you want an easy life:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7BmrewitiA
As long as you never tell the woman in question why you married her.
I tried not to think of the actual mechanics of a ‘spocker’ when listening to that episode of Winginit 3D.
shudder
I’ve a hole in my knowledge base where “spocker” info should be.
rm -rf spocker
Re: coverville #425 – I thought the “red Rain” cover was particularly good.
I saw him do that live at an Amnesty International Concert right after the song had been released. Man, THAT was a performance.
BTW: Although the wiki article on the song does not mention this, he specifically told the audience that the song referrenced the Soviet Union’s use of chemical weapons on Afghanistan villages where they thought the rebels were hiding.
LOL
I have downloaded Coverville #425. Perhaps I can sneak a listen here at work or at least on the drive home.
BIG TIME !
Rhett’s drive home is getting biggah!
“My penis getting bigger!”
oh my bad, it’s pennys getting bigger, but I swear I always though he said penis. LOL
“So if you hear thunder,
never run under a tree.
There’ll be penis from heaven for you and for me.”
From the hit 1930′s musical – “Penis from Heaven”
“Find a penis
pick it up
and all the
you’ll have good luck.”
Unattributed children’s rhyme
“In for a penis, In for a pound”.
Old English saying. Could be from the banking industry or perhaps the British Navy.
… wait, just a moment …
Ah, I’m just getting this in but there may have been a translation problem with the previously posted “sayings”.
Technitions are working to erect the problem.
(somewhere in Vegas TEB just sat straight up in her chair … not knowing exactly what was wrong but sensing an emense fluctuation in the bad joke force)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7315340.stm
So long RW and thanks for ‘The Bedford Incident’…one of my fav films.
I’ll resist joining in and inserting the plural of penis in Pennies from Heaven.
Killjoy I am.
Note to self, read comments properly so you won’t have to realise in retrospect that jj has got there before you.
Hindsight has 20/20 vision
sigh
Comics I read in my youth, not in alphabetical order, first comic I bought on a regular basis was Battle (had a fascination with WW2 that continues to this day:
http://fanboy.frothersunite.com/battle.html
Another one was Action which I only bought for a short period:
http://www.sevenpennynightmare.co.uk/contents.htm
Commando which I never bought but got given when an Uncle had finished reading them:
http://www.barelyhangingon.co.uk/commando/pages/site.htm
The Victor, which I never bought but got the annuals as christmas presents, still got them somewhere in the house:
http://www.26pigs.com/victor/index.html
Starlord, it didn’t run for long but it’s where Strontium Dog and Hammerstein started (in Ro-Busters) for 2000AD fans:
http://www.comicsuk.co.uk/ComicInformationPages/StarlordPages/StarlordHomePage.asp
They all play on penis whistles
You can hear them blow
If you lean your head out far enough
From Desolation Row
Last but not least, and still going today was 2000AD:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2000_AD_(comic)
Yes I got the frisbee gift with issue 1 and no I don’t have it anymore.
Where Judge Dredd started…now if only Hollywood could make a decent movie outing for JD…
http://tinyurl.com/ywyrwq
Bloody Word-screwsupurlinks-press.
Another sterlling effort by Yahtzee at Zero punctuation, coving the Wii game Zach and Wiki:
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation/3059-Zero-Punctuation-Zack-Wiki
Move along this is not the 299th comment you are looking for,
300!
Where’s my six pack?
Exercise you say?
Oh.