This was originally heard in Deadpan 144: Gross.

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Do you think for Yoda’s last birthdays, his family lit 800 candles on a cake and sang “to you, birthday happy”?

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What if Yoda was also dyslexic?

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Do you think Yoda uses that creepy Darth Vader tree for storage when he’s not training a student? Like that’s where he keeps his hedge trimmers?

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Do you think Yoda even notices when his toilet on Dagobah overflows?

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Do you think Yoda would have preferred to just die in peace, without having some punk jedi acolyte badgering him with questions during his final moments?

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Wouldn’t Yoda have quadrupled his credibility if he’d grown in a mustache and goatee?

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Forget earmuffs, does Yoda’s species wear earsocks in winter?

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What is Yoda, 20 inches tall? How the hell could you throw a pitch into his strike zone?

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And if he didn’t use any force powers, who’d win in one-on-one basketball, Yoda vs. Mini-Me?

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Do you think Luke Skywalker still has the ghosts of Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Anakin hanging around him, even after the Empire is destroyed? Dispensing advice, wisdom, and encouragement as he goes through day-to-day activities? Building that extra room on the house, uncomfortable bowel movements, clipping nosehairs, helping the kids with algebra homework, negotiating with jawas for droids, having sex with Mara Jade. . . What would happen if he called the ghostbusters on them?

So, a few of us at Deadpan selected some Olympic hockey teams in a little no-money wager. If a Deadpanite’s selected team loses to someone else’s, then the losing player must record themselves singing the winner’s national anthem. Get it?

The image below shows the participants and their teams, plus the results as of the completion of the first round, or the Olympic Tournament’s “Regular Season”, if you will. The circled names on the chart are required to sing their opponent’s team’s national anthem. The medal round is up next; ie: “The Playoffs”. There may be further Deadpan-relevant matchups to come.

The medal round rematch rule: If your team loses a second time to the same team, then you don’t need to re-perform that national anthem. If your team won in the prelims but goes on to lose to that same opponent in the medal round, then I guess you and your rival are both due to record some singing.

I’ve made this seem more complicated than it really is. Many thanks to The Energizer Bunny for creating this chart.

In the wake of the tragic, sudden loss of his wife to flu complications, our great friend and fellow podcaster/author Tee Morris is facing a mountain of financial concerns, including funeral expenses and the prospect of raising his daughter and paying mortgage on one income. Pip Ballantine has set up a ChipIn site to help pull money together. These kinds of expenses can get out-of-hand, so please help out if you can. Not a dollar of that fund will be wasted.

In the meantime, please read:
http://www.pjballantine.com/2010/01/07/together-we-are-mighty/
Pip’s eloquence has not failed her.

What do you think of the new look? Big thanks and props to Jeremy for putting together the new WP theme for the Deadpan site.

There may be some changes that will feel a little odd or take a little getting used to, so please feel free to email me or post suggestions/requests.

Some of the biggest changes:

-The site should be easier to view on handheld devices.
-Customizable smileys.
-Avatars. (they don’t have to be blue)

Updated, radically-improved graphic of the Duel of the Fates 3 Tournament, heading into the 2nd round:
DotF Standings for the 2nd round

It is to the original as Legend of Zelda is to Atari Adventure.

Big thanks to Jeremy for putting his graphic arts skills to work. I refuse to type “skillz”.

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Duel of the Fates 3 standings after 1 round:

(Click that link – or view the image after the break.)
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Thanks to justin.tv for hosting the PodcampAZ live feed. We had crazyhigh webview numbers for the entire weekend. This link has been posted in the comments conversation, but I thought it should get a mainpage post too:

JACK MANGAN LIVE (with LEE ON BASS)

A thousand thanks to Dan and Cj of the Love Long and Prosper podcast for snagging this and posting it.

OK, this is a new and unique idea for DotF. Episode #145 (whenever it pods) will be the first of 7 Duel of the Fates, season 3 episodes. There are 8 characters lined up to compete in an elimination tournament.

You can now align yourself with one of the players and possibly win Deadpan stuff!

Just send me an email: spherical jack m at gmail dot com (no spaces – you know how it works) to tell me whose team you’d like to join for the upcoming DotF3 tournament. Players on the winning character’s team will have a chance to win cool stuff.
Palooza Division
Ming (Flash Gordon)
Rorschach (Watchmen)
Otto (Repo Man)
Flash Gordon (Flash Gordon)
Animated Division
Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?)
Buzz Lightyear (Toy Story)
Bilbo Baggins (The Hobbit)
Bugs Bunny (Warner Bros.)

The deadline to join a team is the release of episode 145 (currently slated for either November 18 or 25).

(Yes, we are nerds)
Stupid little details beyond the break.

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Episode 144 is half-completed………….. It would be done tonight, but – -
I’m waiting on new login info to upload the file.

Sorry. The show might get posted tomorrow night, if I have the login info AND I have time to get it completed. There will be other blogposts in the meantime.