What do you think of the new look? Big thanks and props to Jeremy for putting together the new WP theme for the Deadpan site.

There may be some changes that will feel a little odd or take a little getting used to, so please feel free to email me or post suggestions/requests.

Some of the biggest changes:

-The site should be easier to view on handheld devices.
-Customizable smileys.
-Avatars. (they don’t have to be blue)

Updated, radically-improved graphic of the Duel of the Fates 3 Tournament, heading into the 2nd round:
DotF Standings for the 2nd round

It is to the original as Legend of Zelda is to Atari Adventure.

Big thanks to Jeremy for putting his graphic arts skills to work. I refuse to type “skillz”.

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Duel of the Fates 3 standings after 1 round:

(Click that link – or view the image after the break.)
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Thanks to justin.tv for hosting the PodcampAZ live feed. We had crazyhigh webview numbers for the entire weekend. This link has been posted in the comments conversation, but I thought it should get a mainpage post too:

JACK MANGAN LIVE (with LEE ON BASS)

A thousand thanks to Dan and Cj of the Love Long and Prosper podcast for snagging this and posting it.

OK, this is a new and unique idea for DotF. Episode #145 (whenever it pods) will be the first of 7 Duel of the Fates, season 3 episodes. There are 8 characters lined up to compete in an elimination tournament.

You can now align yourself with one of the players and possibly win Deadpan stuff!

Just send me an email: spherical jack m at gmail dot com (no spaces – you know how it works) to tell me whose team you’d like to join for the upcoming DotF3 tournament. Players on the winning character’s team will have a chance to win cool stuff.
Palooza Division
Ming (Flash Gordon)
Rorschach (Watchmen)
Otto (Repo Man)
Flash Gordon (Flash Gordon)
Animated Division
Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?)
Buzz Lightyear (Toy Story)
Bilbo Baggins (The Hobbit)
Bugs Bunny (Warner Bros.)

The deadline to join a team is the release of episode 145 (currently slated for either November 18 or 25).

(Yes, we are nerds)
Stupid little details beyond the break.

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Episode 144 is half-completed………….. It would be done tonight, but – -
I’m waiting on new login info to upload the file.

Sorry. The show might get posted tomorrow night, if I have the login info AND I have time to get it completed. There will be other blogposts in the meantime.

This one has appeared in a number of episodes.

Politics and Billiards:

In billiards, you put English on the balls to spin them into a corner.
In politics, you put spin on the English when your balls are in the corner.
Just don’t scratch.

Voting is underway to determine who will appear in Duel of the Fates III! Yes, we’re still recycling crap from 2005! Review the options below and head over to the Survey Monkey poll. Cast your vote for which characters will appear in the long-awaited Duel of the Fates, season III.

Click here to cast your votes.

This time around, we’ll have two different divisions. The first: characters who’ve appeared in the materials from past DeadpanPalooza studies (Zardoz, Repo Man, Southland Tales, Gross Pointe Blank, Watchmen [graphic novel], Flash Gordon). The second: animated characters.

Voting closes at 3pm MST, November 4, 2009.

Choose from the characters listed or suggest your own.

Division 1. Palooza Characters

1. Which of the Palooza Characters should compete in DotF III? (Vote for as many or as few as you’d like. The top 4 will comprise the Palooza Division)
Dr. Manhattan (Watchmen)
Otto (Repo Man)
Martin Blank (Gross Pointe Blank)
Rorschach (Watchmen)
Zed, Killer of Brutals (Zardoz)
Zardoz (Zardoz)
The Rock’s character (Southland Tales)
Flash Gordon (Flash Gordon)
Ming the Merciless (Flash Gordon)
Other Palooza character

Division 2. Animated characters.

2. Which animated characters should compete in DotF III? (Vote for as many or as few as you’d like. The top 4 will comprise the Animated Division)
Smurfette (The Smurfs)
Optimus Prime (Transformers)
Bugs Bunny (Warner Bros)
Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?)
Totoro (My Neighbor Totoro)
Buzz Lightyear (Toy Story)
Mr. T (The Mr. T Cartoon)
Snoopy (Peanuts)
Bilbo Baggins (The Hobbit)
Other animated character

This is from an old, old episode. I don’t know. . . #17, maybe? Sorry, I truly can’t remember, can’t find it in any non-lazy Show Notes.

Warning, the following skit is actually very tame. So if you find yourself offended, then you really need to get a clue.

The Catholic Church is finding new ways to reach out and be more exciting, to get the younger, more cynical crowd interested in attending mass again. Here are some of the proposed changes. (organ music)

Every Sunday, Johnny Knoxville is going to choose one church somewhere in the US, and at some random point during mass, come careening up the aisle in a speeding, out of control shopping cart.

The Bibles in the pews will be redone as Manga.

During scripture readings, Replace the words Jesus Christ with commonly used, modern day exclamations. Examples: “Galatians 1:3 Grace to you and peace from God the Father and our Lord Jumping Jesus Christ on a pogo stick”. Peter 1:3 Blessed [be] the God and Father of our Lord Jesus H. Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jumpin Jehosephat from the dead.

Zap a random, periodic electrical charge into the Holy Water basins as parishioners are passing in and out of the doors.

Put a dollar in the collection plate, get a scratchoff.

Get someone from the Wu-Tang Clan to drop and freestyle some of the sermon.

Give all parishioners the red and blue 3-D glasses. Make the stained glass window images 3-D.

This isn’t more fun, but certainly more convenient. ATMs in the confession booth. Good idea, right? And while you’re at it, give the Priest a break. Replace him with an Etch-A-Sketch. Draw your offensive actions into the Etch-A-Sin, then when you’re done, give it a good shake and your transgressions are washed anon.

The priest is required to quote lines from Star Wars and/or Army of Darkness somewhere in his sermon each week.

Let Jonathan Davis from Korn update some of the Hymns. Get the whole congregation singing his remixes. (bummm da-da umm da-da ima)

Spice up communion by adding booze and conceptual cannibalism.

Super-high ceilings right? Mid-mass bungee-jumping for Christ.

Get the parishioners doing the wave.

Enough with the Bingo. Get some Twister games going. Or fill up a bunch of glasses with sacramental wine and let’s play quarters.

One word, three syllables: Cheerleaders.

Replace pews with cubicles. No, scratch that idea.

Midnight mass every night, with a DJ, blacklights, bouncers, transvestites, wristbands, a $25 cover, dancing, sacramental wine at $9 per plastic cup, Hymns sung at 120 bpm. Let the theme be: “Jesus Raves”.

Forget votive candles. Votive bottle rockets.

Give rebuttal time at the end of mass for a rabbi, an atheist, an evolutionary scientist, etc.

Put a hoop on top of the altar’s big crucifix, give the altar boys a basketball.

Or – let’s go with a Latin flavor, in churches of Hayzoos y Maria y Jose.
Instead of those bland communion wafers, give us communion tortilla chips. Or even better, make the wafers spicy. And of course, replace the wine with tequila of Christ. Blessed is he who gets the worm.

Have parishioners fill up a collection piñata instead of a plate. Then give the altar boys some bats and let them at it.